Students complain way too much these days.
They complain about bathrooms: being barred from every other bathroom throughout the school day, bathrooms that are locked after school earlier each passing day and bathrooms that run out of paper towels and become disgusting before most students get a chance to use the facilities.
Students whine about ID scanners. They whine about having to swipe a measly card every morning, as if that somehow “changed the atmosphere of the school to make it more authoritarian.” They whine about ID cards being voided if they are even a few minutes late coming back from lunch and they whine about not being let out for free periods, as if the freedom to roam the streets at will were some natural human right protected by the Constitution.
Students complain about bad teaching, as if they had the right to get good teaching. How snobbish those Stuyvesant students must be, to think that they deserve good teaching!
Students moan and groan about “terrible” policies at school: the prohibition of cellular phones and iPods, clearing the building of students by 5:00 p.m., not allowing students back into the building after 4:30 p.m., and even the new locker policy. Students complain more about these supposedly “horrific rules” than about their workload these days. That bothers me.
If students have so much time to complain about these “strict” new policies, they obviously don’t have enough work. Teachers should increase the amount of homework they give students to at least two to three hours per class per night, and should institute a policy of one test every week, in every subject. No exceptions should be given for APs, special events and certainly not for the approaching end of the term.
Students need to understand that they have no rights. The administration should take the next logical step and close every bathroom except for one. That’ll make students think of “the good old days.” In addition, no paper towels or toilet paper should be provided, and the single bathroom should only be cleaned once a week-preferably at a busy time, so that it can be closed down some more. Of course, we are almost already at this stage.
When students swipe their ID in the morning, a certain number, chosen randomly by the computer, should be singled out for immediate punishment. These students would have their ID voided on the spot; not only would their lunch privileges be stripped, but they would also have to pay one dollar every day for the next week. Why? To keep them on their toes. Besides, the further punishment of students would improve faculty morale.
If students arrive late to school, they should be refused entry, and made to return home, with an unexcused absence on their record. That’ll show them not to be late again.
United Federation of Teachers representative Ellen Schweitzer said at the School Leadership Team (SLT) meeting in which the ID scanners were first discussed that “I’ve heard that in some schools, they have scanners at each desk, and students have to scan in before they can sit down.” When those assembled at the meeting registered shock on their faces, Schweitzer quickly said, “That was a joke.” But I think it’s an excellent idea. Have scanners at every vantage point. In fact, we should invest as much money as possible (millions of dollars) to track student movements not only throughout the school, but also in the surrounding area. You never know what students are up to. Indeed, we already have cameras on the bridge, installed by the Department of Homeland Security, and monitored by our own security guards. Yes, you knew that Stuyvesant students were extremely dangerous, but not until now do you understand how much so.
Students speak about Stuyvesant High School as if it were an institution that is supposed to be suited to their needs. What self-centered nonsense! Schools, especially Stuyvesant, don’t exist and operate for the education and wellbeing of the students! The building isn’t there so that students can have a home or a community, nor should the enjoyment and education of the students be priorities of Stuyvesant. Both of these are unintended consequences of a system that is not harsh enough. Were the system foolproof, were the administration relentless in its worthy destruction of youthful fun, then curiosity would never flourish.
Let this day, June 5, 2007, be the start of a new offensive in this noble War on Enjoyable Education. Let no teacher, administrator or bureaucrat relent until every ounce of youth and liberty is stamped out. Only then can we rise above this petty nonsense-the underage