A&E

“[God] does not throw dice,” Albert Einstein wrote in 1926. Apparently, though, God does gamble—with Soph-Frosh SING!’s script, which left the audience “just a tad confused” in the words of Jennifer, the hick in this year’s Soph-Frosh SING!.

The plot of Soph-Frosh SING!, executive-produced by sophomores Stephanie Bartolome and Paul Lee and produced by freshmen Daniela Gilsanz and Jaimie Meyers, is complicated. A United States spaceship’s engine explodes, causing it to land onto a foreign planet. The passengers include a host of eyebrow-raising characters: a stereotypical Mexican named Hernando (sophomore Sara Carrion), an emo “Falcon” (freshman Caitlin Daley)—perhaps a reference to the Captain America superhero, a shrieking southerner named Jennifer (sophomore Clio Contegenis), a Walking Wikipedia (freshman Alex Treitel), a Captain Raptor-obsessed fan (sophomore Molly Balsam), a Dragonball Z-obsessed nerd (freshman Matteo Singer), and three randomly placed clowns—Pogo the Clown (sophomore Wacira Maina), Robert the Clown (freshman Abie Sidell) and Dynamo the Clown (freshman Willa Beckman). Why are all of these people aboard a spaceship? Simply for “plot purposes,” as the Narrator (freshman Felix Handte) would say. The twisted plot soon becomes so confusing that the audience wishes that all the passengers had been killed in the engine explosion for “plot purposes.”

The planet’s natives, led by their zealous priestess (sophomore Valeriya Tsitron) and stereotypically gay priest (sophomore Justy Kosek), prepare to sacrifice the spaceship passengers’ pancreata. Queen Goob (sophomore Audri Augenbraum) prevents them from doing so, because she has fallen for Robert the Clown, whom she believes is a god more powerful than Gurubashi due to his never-before-seen juggling skills.

Inevitably Pogo the Clown, jealous of his friend’s faked divinity, reveals Robert as a fraud. Meanwhile, the priestess kills herself to summon Gurubashi. Gurubashi (sophomore Daniel Fleishman) then arrives on the scene with a clap of thunder. At the insistence of Queen Goob, he turns everyone into pigs, mirroring The Odyssey’s Circe episode with much less panache. “Well, this is boring,” Gurubashi remarks. “Tell me about it,” junior Peter Valdez said as he sat in the audience on Friday, March 14.

The plot soon devolves into a shouting match between a number of potential deities (Gurubashi, Robert the Clown and Pogo the Clown). Eventually, the priest reveals that he is Wes, the scriptwriter of Soph-Frosh SING!, who cannot recognize his own creation, since it has been heavily edited by the administration. The action finally ends with a post-modern “Who cares anyway?,” and mercifully, the sophomores and freshmen crowd the stage for the spirit song.

The plot—flying ship crashes in the jungle, natives want to sacrifice crew, false divinity saves his friends, false divinity is unmasked and overthrown—sounds very familiar. The story partly originates, if subconsciously, from Rudyard Kipling’s “The Man Who Would Be King.” Using this formulaic plot might have been forgivable if Soph-Frosh had put on as good a show as the other two SING!s this year.

Throughout the production, directed by sophomores Tara Anantharam and Annalise Jorgensen Lockhart and freshman Sadie Bergen, the cast tried hard to work with a script that gave them few good lines and even less of a storyline. Carrion’s, Daley’s, Beckman’s, Kosek’s and Balsam’s characters added little to the plot development and used too much time for too few laughs (Contegenis faked an orgasm that made audience members cringe)—but their acting was enthusiastic. Handte’s deadpan humor, Fleishman’s steadying presence and Maina’s and Tsitron’s musical and theatrical abilities saved the show from flopping.

Both Maina’s solo number, “What’s This?,” from the movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, and Tsitron’s part in “Thriller,” by Michael Jackson, showcased clear, competent singing that should have been emphasized more throughout the show. Kosek, whose thick unwieldy voice is not suited to mimic that of Michael Jackson’s, should have been removed from “Thriller” and chorus should have had much more of a role in providing back-up vocals to cover for the mediocre band. Taking on a classic like “Thriller” is ambitious, and it paid off–”Thriller” was the show’s best number.

Queen Goob’s serenade to Robert the Clown, accompanied by the Jazz dance crew, improved with each night—especially after the directors added chorus back-up vocals.

Soph-Frosh SING!’s opening number, also taken from “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” was a mellow piece involving an excellent chorus, a ballet troupe and a minimalist light blue background sheet. The ballet dance was a questionable choice, since the dance form does not allow for the flashy moves needed to impress SING! judges. It was also a mistake to start off the show with what sounded like a dirge.

In general, the dance crews lacked confidence, although a number of them improved upon Wednesday’s performance. Tap, for instance, highlighted the talents of its individual members, like sophomore Santi Slade, with solos that garnered sweeping audience appreciation despite poor, too loud guitar accompaniment.

The Latin dance crew’s rendition of “Hey Mama,” by the Black Eyes Peas, was an admirable attempt, though inconsistently smooth. With more training and confidence, this year’s Latin dance crew could be a remarkable asset to Senior SING! 2010.

One dance crew was perfect and performed with finesse–Step. The small crew was audible, exuded a strong, carefully controlled energy and even inserted humorous lines into their Stuyspace-themed dance.

The Indian and Greek dances echoed the mellow spirit of the production. Their inability to affect the audience mirrored the overall problem with Soph-Frosh SING!: the viewer ultimately doesn’t care who is God or what happens to the stranded passengers.

The band, led by sophomore Alex Jaffe, played with mixed results. It made especially good use of its two drummers and two trumpeters. The clarinets, however, hit a series of flat notes at the beginning of the opening number, and the guitars hindered rather than helped the musical development of each song by drowning out vocals, the horn section and even sometimes the drums.

Lighting, directed by sophomore Rosanna Sobota, and sound, directed by freshman Sara Lu, were better than expected, but both departments were plagued on Friday night by a sudden sustained throbbing and screeches that ruined much of “What’s This?”. Fortunately, Captain Raptor’s (sophomore Sarah Morgan Cohen-Smith) cardboard-box-shaped head, which was ugly and soundproof on Wednesday, was painted over and the sound problem was solved by giving Cohen-Smith a microphone.

Art, directed by sophomores Andriy Duyko, Masha Gindler and Singha Hon, and Tech, directed by freshmen Amy Feng, Thomas Flagiello and Annie Kim, succeeded in most of their endeavors. The Soph-Frosh set was colorful and sturdy and brought a refreshing youthfulness to an otherwise dark show. The costumes, though, were uninteresting—most dancers wore simple smocks adorned only with bits of fabric. Even the main characters’ costumes failed to impress.

Soph-Frosh SING! oscillated between avant-garde musical numbers and sloppy dancing, ambitious ontological considerations and a script lacking direction, successful pokes at Stuy icons (such as English teacher Hugh Francis and the Hudson staircase) and sexual innuendos that landed like exploded spaceships.

In the end, the underclassmen showed a fierce dedication that was unfortunately coupled with a drastically edited script and a lack of logistical skills. Once they learn from their mistakes and create a better script, they will be able to put on a show worthy of junior and senior SING!s.