*Disclaimer: Humor articles may be works of fiction. Quotes should be considered libel and slander.*
1. What’s your catch phrase?
A) “SIT DOWN!”
B) “1, 2 and 5”
C) “Sad days are these…”
E) “Is it clear? Yes or no?”
2. How do you get people’s attention?
A) You say, “ALL STOP!”
B) You surreptitiously walk up to people and then ask, “What are you guys doing?”
C) You throw pieces of chalk at people.
D) You glare.
E) You don’t.
3. What’s your passion?
A) Ridiculously-super-hard math that students can only understand if they’ve studied in Germany
B) “1, 2 and 5”
C) College apparel/college flags
E) Convincing people to become Physics majors
4. If you were to give a test, what type of questions would you give?
A) Ones where students will fail, even though you’ve already given the answers the day before
B) The same ones as your first test
C) Questions about yourself
D) What are…tests?
E) Ones where students will be proud to get a 35/100
5. What’s your favorite food item?
B) Anything that doesn’t leave trash
D) Students who haven’t memorized their lines
E) Martians don’t need food!
Mostly A’s: Dr. Chen
You are probably a genius who expects everyone else to be just as much of a genius. You are probably also quoted on stuybash.org a million times.
Mostly B’s: Mr. Tillman
Patrolling should be your middle name! You probably dislike any garbage and loitering. You secretly wish you could swim in the pool in the mornings.
Mostly C’s: Mr. Cocoros
Your room is probably decorated with feather boas, college flags, and a “low-rider” chair. You also shave your hair as an award for people winning competitions. Rumor has it you huck a mean disc.
Mostly D’s: Mr. Mott
You are probably lurking on the tenth floor, searching for a teacher’s assistant. You’re also a boss.
Mostly E’s: Dr. Esper
You were probably hatched, not born, on Mars. You love doing physics demos and collecting any physics-related cartoons and posting them on the 8th floor bulletin board. Have a nice day. Hey! I said, “Have a nice day!”