**Disclaimer: This article is a work of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.**
A group of Stuyvesant seniors stormed the College Board’s New York City headquarters on Thursday, November 10, in the first act of a grade-wide protest against the college application process. For years, the College Board has served as a medium for high school students to take college entrance exams, including the well-known, widely-feared SAT.
The seniors involved in the movement believed the protest to be a logical next step in a long history of student unrest.
“After years of complaining on Facebook, we finally decided to take some real action,” senior Evan Lubin said. “We’re doing this in the name of every sleep-deprived, angst-ridden senior out there. Even the ones who don’t want us to.”
The group arrived at the College Board building early Thursday morning, armed with signs that read “We are the 88%,” referencing their test grade percentiles in Occupy-Wall-Street fashion.
The seniors claimed they had no trouble finding the building on “occupation day,” as they called it.
“You’d think with thousands of raving mad seniors around, the College Board would hide its location,” senior Jahmar Campbell said. “But there it is, clear as day, on its Web site.”
While the College Board occupation was soon ended by police officers, the seniors have taken further measures to express their discontent. Another organization they have targeted is The Common Application, an organization that claims to facilitate and ease the college application process by providing a universal application accepted by virtually all American colleges and universities.
“Yesterday, I deleted my Common Application account,” senior Jay Jiang said. “It was surprisingly liberating.”
Some seniors expressed support for the movement, but have not actively participated in it.
“This movement is a long time in coming, and I definitely plan on joining the protest, just as soon as I finish writing my college essays,” senior Elias Weinraub said.
The movement has continued to grow, largely due to its popularity.
“Let’s face it. We need to vent our frustrations through something stronger than angsty poetry and personal essays,” Campbell said. “This is it.”
Though popular, the protest has not been without consequences for the seniors involved. Over two hundred seniors have been arrested and charged with varying degrees of trespassing, public disturbance, and senioritis. However, many remain indifferent to such backlash.
“Considering the number of times I’ve been arrested during this rebellion, I would be required to check that ‘disciplinary action’ box on the Common Application,” Jiang said. “It’s fortunate that I no longer have an account.”
The attitude reflected by the class of 2012 has been a big source of concern for the school administration.
“I don’t know why the students have suddenly decided to act out, but we have to put a stop to this before the [New York] Post catches on,” Principal Stanley Teitel said.
Despite impending deadlines and school-wide concern, the protest doesn’t seem to be winding down.
“This is only the beginning,” senior Alice Anichkin said. “Reinforcements are on the way, and these people are even more exhausted and stressed out about this process than we are—our parents.”