**Disclaimer: This article is a work of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.**
After years of disuse, Stuyvesant High School’s 11th floor pool has finally been made accessible to students. The pool was originally built during the construction of the new Stuyvesant building in 1993, but never opened due to filtration issues.
Due to the extended closure of the pool, students for years have believed the pool’s existence to be an urban legend. “I heard that there was a pool on the 11th floor my freshman year when my Big Sib tried to sell me a pass to swim after school,” junior Joaquin Pinto said. “But he also told me that the department A.P.’s were helpful and that the Cafeteria was the cool place to get lunch, so I was inclined not to believe him.”
Even students who attended the school when the new building first opened were shocked about the pool’s actual existence. “When we first moved into the new building, there were rumors flying around about different aspects of the building,” Christine Hung (’94) said. “I just assumed that the 11th floor pool was just another one of those.”
The administration kept the pool a secret until now, citing repairs, as well as a need to maintain a serious academic environment. “We decided that a second pool would just be too much fun for one building, and students couldn’t handle that,” Principal Stanley Teitel said. “We did host a number of staff parties up there though, it got pretty wild.”
The administration finally decided to tell students about the pool in an effort to generate revenue for the school. Beginning in January, Stuyvesant will charge students twenty dollars a month for access to an entertainment complex on the 11th floor, which includes the pool, in addition to a game room, several hot tubs, and a rock climbing wall. “My conference room’s mahogany table was showing a little bit of wear, so I decided to try and generate more revenue to pay for a replacement. Due to rising wood and polish prices, the 11th floor seemed to be my only viable option,” Teitel said.
Students have expressed excitement for the pool’s opening, and the administration has received over one hundred pre-orders for passes to the pool. However, while the general population has a positive take on the pool’s delayed opening, others question its usefulness. “We have one pool already, why in the world would we need a second one? Also, it makes no sense that it be all the way up on the 11th floor,” senior Ariel Matalon said. “It’s a ridiculous design, and on top of that, how did it possibly take eighteen years to repair it?”
Despite Matalon’s concerns, the administration maintains a staunchly joyous stance on the pool’s opening. “Now we have twice the amount of space to force humiliation and discomfort upon unathletic freshmen,” said Principal Stanley Teitel.