Humor
Prerequisite Laments
Over the past few weeks, hoards of students have approached the programming office and department chairs in order to complain about the number of prerequisites needed to qualify for an Advanced Placement (AP) course. Many accomplished students argue that the required prerequisites are a waste of time and, in fact, inhibit students from reaching their [...]
Why I Love Stuyvesant
There are many reasons to love Stuyvesant; it is diverse, stress-free, and its bathrooms are sparkly clean with ample paper towels. However, for me, what separates Stuyvesant from other schools is how much care we receive as students, and how its many rules and regulations keep us safe from the dangers of high school. Critically [...]
Stuyvesant Student Body Expresses Jealousy in Wake of Bronx Science Scandal
Earlier this month, a track team scandal at the Bronx High School of Science shook the media and left many questions unanswered in the New York public school community. How could officials have let this happen? What could have caused such vulgar behavior? And why can’t Stuy do better? Many of Stuyvesant’s team captains have [...]
siNg? 2013: REVIEWS, HIGHLIGHTS AND TOP FIVES
LE SOPHFROSH Jinkies! Je le pa oui oui la performe au menage à trois: ja le ma ca la fa la! siNg# garbage mais je croissant pea le Francois, jai t’aime la vene par je hui ja-sme quat et la je chris brown avec rihanna. Po je la je mon baguette, je na je co [...]
Stuyvesant Team Name to be “Stuyvesant Stoners”
Over the course of the past month, a heated debate has raged on the topic of unifying sports team names in Stuyvesant. Several names, including “Pill-Poppers,” “Smoke-Stacks,” “Junkies,” and “Stuyvesant Stoners,” have been suggested on the Facebook event organized by senior Jordan Wallach. However, a host of problems has arisen in choosing the most suitable team [...]
Whole Foods Review
Deep in the bowels of TriBeCa lies an establishment known only to the most elite hipsters in Stuyvesant: Whole Foods Market. Famous within small circles for its tasty organic food options, Whole Foods is slowly gaining popularity in the mainstream. It is easy to pass by the store without taking a second look—it’s hidden inside [...]
High School Wrestlers Denied Chance to Someday Plow Each Other on World Stage
On Tuesday, February 12, the International Olympic Committee announced its plans to discontinue the long-held tradition of slamming unitard clad bodies against each other on a sweaty mat, a sport otherwise known as wrestling. The decision came after a secret ballot held at the official Olympic Headquarters, in which it was decided to replace wrestling [...]
Freedom of Information
In September, The Stuyvesant Spectator Editorial Board requested official documents regarding the Stuyvesant cheating scandal and the subsequent administrative response. We hoped to use these documents to uncover the truth behind conflicting claims that Principal Teitel violated protocol during the cheating scandal, and hopefully, clear his name. These are public documents under the Freedom of [...]
Re: New policy – No more using Stuy’s floors!
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. IT HAS BEEN SENT FROM A ‘SEND ONLY’ MAILBOX This message is from Stuyvesant High School. – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dear STUDENT, Yesterday, the Center for Disease Control released a report stating that as of March 1, 2013 a [...]
Numbers: College Statistics
Number of Dreams Crushed (includes students, parents, and immediate family): 23,652 Number of Disappointed Parents: 1256 Number of College Counselors Fired: 3 Percent of Seniors Who Wish They Went to an Easier High School: 104%
